no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
