Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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