Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
