So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
