hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
