If i could tip my vagina, i would.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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