someone get that fucking seahorse.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
