Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.

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(586): View more from Michigan

I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.

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(212): View more from New York

You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?

(475): View more from Connecticut

Yeah?

(212): View more from New York

Stuck it in his pooper.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Come see our sink grown plant.

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(845): View more from New York

he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"

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(813): View more from Florida

right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.

(1-813): View more from Florida

only on the fourth of july.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere

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(315): View more from New York

She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.

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