Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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