i jhust puked up my retainher.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He better not be in your backpack
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
