i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
