70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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