erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Small penises have feelings too.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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