i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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