Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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