It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
