I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Dick very happy bro
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
