You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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