Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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