Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
