I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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