Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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