That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
