Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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