I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
