Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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