I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
