everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
