Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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