If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I have aggressive nipples.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
