Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize