I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
