if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
