God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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