I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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