whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
