this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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