We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
