he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
