Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
