I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
