Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I think your dad took our porno
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize