it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
