I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I understand Curling. That high.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
