sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
