Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
