i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
If that was your dad, he is hot
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
