drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
