i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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