I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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