I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
