Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
