Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize