Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
