I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
