you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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