I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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