I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
