Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
