As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Randomize
