I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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