Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize